A traveller’s thoughts on trust

I trust people far too easily. It’s something I’m working on right now. Being vulnerable and honest are skills that come natural to me. Actually, I think they’re both traits that attract a lot of good people into my life. But at the same time, they tend to invite a lot of selfish asshats into my life as well.

These leechy people are ones that seem to be drawn to individuals that shine a bright light, simply because theirs is so dim. Us light shiners and energy providers give far too much of ourselves to these people because it’s naturally what we do. We want everyone to be smiling, to feel good and to be their best selves, and we trust that we won’t get taken advantage of while offering up so much of our souls to others.

After travelling more and more, I’m getting better at weeding out the leeches and offering trust and vulnerability to those who’ve earned it and will happily extend it back to me. Trust should be reciprocal.

I’m not perfect though. I’m still learning. Within the last few months, I’ve let my wisdom slip and have fallen back on old patterns, catching myself only after feeling betrayed. But that’s okay. It’s all in the name of learning and self-discovery. It takes time to break old habits, but recognition is key, isn’t it?

The thing about trust is, it’s not as cut and dry as the old adage makes it out to be.

“Trust should be earned.”

From what my short life has taught me thus far, that’s not always true. Like my most recent slip up, when the person in question did take time to earn my trust but still broke it quite harshly regardless.

Or, in a good way, when friends of friends of friends I’ve never met have opened their homes to me, trusting a total stranger. These are some of the most valuable friendships I have, and we put trust in each other without every even having really spoken.

I think what I’m learning about trust is, more importantly than allowing someone to earn your trust, you should always trust your gut. Every single time my insides have told me something, they’ve been 100% right.

“Don’t go out with this group, they’re weird.” They did turn out to be weird.

“Leave this party NOW. It’s not your scene.” It did very much turn out to not be my scene.

“This chick seems manipulative and toxic.” That chick did turn out to be both those things.

And then all the times I did listen to it, even when I was scared shitless and unsure:

“Move to Scotland. You’re scared, but it will save you.” It was the single best decision I ever made.

“Quit this job. You can do better, I promise.” And I did. Much better.

“Write that story about your STI for the world to read. You’re going to feel great.” It is still, to this day, what I deem to be my greatest accomplishment and continues to be helpful for people who find it. Not to mention, it launched my writing career and set me on my path now.

So back to trust. If you’re going to trust one thing I write, trust me when I say you should always trust your instincts. Sometimes it’s scary to trust your gut, but thus far, it has kept me safe and presented some pretty fucking incredible opportunities.   

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